Bio: Some contents may not be suitable to the faint of heart, or those who can't handle people who have an opinion and their own mind. Who I am is who I've always been, an open minded, married BBW, bi-sexual who does not talk about religion or politics. I don't care who our president is, he still deserves our respect, whether we like him or not. I am blunt and honest to a fault and I'm outright offensive sometimes. If you think that you want to get to know me, read on and enjoy
Sometimes I wonder if there’s a point to doctors other than have them act like quacks. Monday, Mom told her new doctor off, so she went elsewhere today and thankfully, liked the doctor I got for her. Sadly, my doctor isn’t even a doctor, she’s a Nurse Practitioner. She’s completely useless and I’m tired of her antics. She told a friend of mine, who is also her patient, that her panic disorder is all in her head. No, it’s not. She’s told me that I’m too fat (which I am, I know this) and she won’t even consider looking at my back to see what’s wrong with it until I’m under 250.
She wouldn’t even give me a script for a sleeping aid when I asked for one last year. She gave me an anti-histamine instead. What the hell? I have allergies, but what is an anti-histamine going to do for my sleep problems? She wouldn’t even talk to me when I was in last. Told me to come back in June or July for bloodwork. Nothing else matters to her. Oh well. Guess I’ll find someone new for myself.
April 1st brings high school baseball season. I’m looking forward to that. I don’t know why, but I thoroughly enjoyed baseball last year and want to go to games again this year. Hopefully it’ll be warmer though! Last season was bloody COLD for some of the games.
I’m looking forward to the warmer weather in general. I can’t wait for it to be nice enough to open the windows and turn the heat off a few months. I can’t wait to go outside, sit on the porch, enjoy the weather. I get a wicked caged feeling in the winter.
I’m hoping that the warmer weather will bring me to spend more time with friends. I want to connect more. I want to spend more time. I want to try to figure out what I need to do to get a normal life back. It’s not easy.
I used to dream about taking piano lessons when I was younger. I love the sound of a piano, wish that I had one of my own. I took up the clarinet in elementary school, I kept with it through part of Jr. High. I quit band, though, because it was hard to get to band on time, due to bussing circumstances.
One day, I’ll be able to take up piano, even if it’s just with a keyboard. I will teach myself if I have to, simply because I am desperate to learn and would give pretty much anything to have the chance to have piano lessons. I don’t think it could be that hard to teach myself, though.
Maybe I can ask my husband for piano lessons for a Christmas gift one year. That would be pretty cool, at least to me. Although, he’d probably look at me like I’m insane, since I’ve never expressed any sort of interest in the piano, outside of my love for classical music, which is typically focused on clarinet. What most people don’t realize is that the piano was my first love.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is what is going to happen when my mother passes. The bills are mostly in my name so that’s not too bad. The only things I have to worry about is the electric and the car insurance. I’ve been doing a lot of research and been pricing the car insurance for our current car. The prices that I’ve found are quite high. I haven’t been to carinsurancelist.com yet to see what’s there, quote-wise. I worry about sites that give you quotes for many companies. How accurate can they be?
There’s a lot of other things that I’ve been thinking about, but not tonight
“Describe a recent decision that made a huge impact on your life, and consider what life would be like if you had done things a little differently.”
I made the decision to reconnect with old friends. I decided to venture back into a world where I have friends that I can call up and say “hey, lets go bowling” or something like that. When I was younger, I had a lot of friends, I missed that quite a bit and I’ve made an effort to reconnect with some of those people whom I was the closest to.
My biggest concern, though, is that things are going to end up the same way they did 14 years ago. I self destructed, vanished, I cut all ties, honestly. It was hard for me, I was slighted by my best friends, who were hanging out without me. I was left out in the cold and I’m still not sure why. All I know is that it’s something that I felt the need to do.
If I hadn’t done this? I’m not sure what would happen, honestly. I’d probably be miserable, despite all the good in my life.
An update? From me? Holy crap the world hasn’t ended after all.
I hate to say it, but I’ve spent more time on Facebook than I care to admit. There’s a reason for that though. I’ve been reconnecting with my best friend from high school and saw her yesterday for the first time in 14 years. I got to spend time with her, her twin, her twin’s husband. It was nice and I really want to spend more time with her.
I’ve been a bit of a busy bee lately and I like it that way, but it means that I don’t really have a whole lot of post left in me a lot of the time. I need to try to post more. I should probably do some writing prompts or something, anything to get myself writing again.
I’m sorry for being a bad poster, I’m going to try to be better.
So, I got myself a new laptop the other day. We went to Best Buy to get it. I don’t normally shop in box stores for technology and Monday was a remind of why I don’t. They’re pushy as all get out. I suspect it’s because they work on commission.
I have to wonder how it is on Black Friday when all the big sales are going on. Personally, I do my Black Friday shopping online. Saves me from having to kill pushy sales people.
Well, I finally spent money on myself. I bought a new pair of glasses, and they’re PINK. Seriously, how awesome is that? I’m glad. I don’t *need* them, really. I just have been having issues with mine not fitting right since they accidentally got bent a little. I’m happy. They’re good glasses, so I’m not complaining.
I’m tired, my brain hurts. I updated my book blog earlier. I need to run maint. on this one and a few others.
I’m just glad I can go to bed soon. Some days, I feel like I’m sitting here watching security cameras that are monitoring my life. It’s weird. I feel like everything is going on around me and I’m sitting dead still.
Tomorrow, I may get to meet a friend for the first time. *bounce* I’m excited about the prospect. I’ll also get to take Hubby to Corning for the first time. I haven’t been there since I graduated college. Once I finish this post, I need to figure out where to meet up with my friend, so I have an idea of where I need to find. Things have changed since I was last there.
What a week! Ugh. I seriously need a new mattress. This one has gone to hell. I hope we can get out tomorrow before Rob has to work so we can do a few things. I’m just kinda feeling overwhelmed. I do know that when I get a new mattress, I also want to get one of those allergy mattress covers so that I can sleep better.
Our laptop felt the pain of being hurt. Somehow, the pin in the jack to charge it got broke. Took it in to see how much to fix it. $175. Ouch. So, I had to sit down and soul search and figure out if I wanted to fix it. We’d been talking about getting a new one, so I priced and talked and priced and talked. In the end, I decided to buy a new one. I settled on a Compaq – Presario Laptop with Intel® Celeron® Processor – Black. I just hope they have one on Sunday when I go shopping.
I’m stressing about the car. Kind of wish we could get it fixed tomorrow, but I doubt that can happen. We’ll see. I’m going to be going to Corning on Sunday, hopefully. We’ll see what the weather brings, though, since we’re finally getting snow.
For now, I leave you with my favorite commercial from the Olympics.
I need to draw some new readership, I think. I really have no idea how, outside of submitting to a free web directory and that doesn’t really work all that well. It’s hard. Everyone wants to succeed, but not everyone can. I’m not sure what to do.
I know long posts don’t get read, so I write shorter posts. I don’t post more than a couple times a day at most. I dunno what to do. I .. meh .. just don’t know. I’ll work on it over the weekend, I think. Maybe come up with a strategy.
I’m cranky as hell. I itch like a mofo. My back is broke out. My face is, however, acnefree. At least you can’t see my breakout? I just wish I didn’t itch so freaking much.
I’m tired of feeling all “Argh” lately. It sucks. I suck. I was even snarky in emails with someone tonight that I’m normally not sharp with. It wasn’t directed at her, it was about a rival, so to speak.
Blah. I’m not really feelin’ this post. At all. I should end it now and move on. Or go scratch myself to death.
I’m fixated on the doctor’s appointment and the lack of interest in me she has actually taken. I’m still fed up, angry and frustrated. The worse part, I got my bill today. Last time I went was around $83. This time was over $111!
She didn’t do shit! She didn’t even try to tell me what the best weight loss pills would be! She’s USELESS! And yet, she wants me to pay $111. To hell with that.
I’m going to protest that bill and then, I’m done. Period.
Sleep is for the weak, they say. I disagree. Sleep is for those who haven’t found out how to sleep properly. That would be me. I never went to bed until after 3 this morning, then laid in bed for nearly an hour before finally falling asleep. I had asked my doctor over a year ago if she would recommend some OTC sleeping pills or even prescribe something. Her choice was to prescribe an anti-histamine for my allergies in hopes that it would help me sleep. Failure.
I’m tired of not sleeping normal hours. I was doing good for a while there, going to bed at 11 or 12, getting up at 8 or 9. I want that back, but I don’t know how to get back there. Plus, I can almost guarantee that if I did get back there, Rob’s work shift would get switched up again so that I have to be up at 2:30am.
So, my bestie is pregnant. I said that elsewhere, it seems familiar. She’s having her second child and this time we’re actually speaking to each other. So, I get to hear all about pregnancy vitamins and eating for two and the size of the baby compared to different fruit.
Now, I’m 34 years old and frankly, don’t much care. I’ve never had a child, don’t plan on having one either. I know that sounds odd, but I don’t have the patience for raising a child. I don’t know why. I love children and always wanted my own, but over the years, that changed. I’m glad I didn’t start when I was 18 like most people.
Everyone knows that you’re going to pick up germs from everything in the world. One thing that a lot of people think about is what you’re putting your head on at night when you go to bed. I never really gave it a whole lot of thought either, but I did when I started developing allergies out of the blue. What got me to thinking about it is having had the opportunity to sleep on a bed with healthy dreams germ fighter pillows on it. I woke up able to breath well, not congested at all and I knew the environment was the same as home, just the bedding was different.
I asked why they chose this kind of a pillow and was really surprised to hear about how bad your bedding choices can be for you. I never gave much thought to the dust mites and germs that your pillows can hold, especially the older the pillows are. When you think about it, a pillow starts breaking down the first time you use it and when you breath, you’re breathing out whatever germs are in your system. You don’t change your pillows when you’re sick, right? You change the bedding and wash it, but what about the actual pillow or mattress?
I know that, personally, my allergies are absolutely horrible. I got new pillows for Christmas and I was better for a few days, then they kicked in even harder. I suffer daily. I don’t like it, but it’s what I have to do because I haven’t had the ability to change them all out at once. I need to do that soon, then hopefully I’ll be able to sleep better at night and wake up better in the morning.
If you don’t believe me about your pillows making you sick, check out the video below and you’ll be a believer too. I know it opened my eyes even more.
Happy Valentine’s Day, readers. Personally, I dislike this day. I don’t see the need for a day to show someone how we feel about them, we should be doing it throughout the year. You never know just how much time you have with someone, so tell your loved ones how you feel.
Rather than spending money on flowers, chocolate, etc, why not think spring and buy patio furniture instead? I know that sounds weird, but give me a second to explain. When you spend money on flowers, they die within a week at most. Chocolate only lasts as long as it takes to eat it. A fancy dinner lasts one night, so why not spend the money on something that you will both enjoy on down the road?
The other thing I dislike about Valentine’s day is this – it’s great if you’re in love or in a relationship with someone, but what about everyone else? Is it fair to them? Not really.
I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I’m not all that impressed with her, or her office in general any more. She spent less than 5 minutes with me. Just long enough to complain about my weight. Yeah, it creeped up a couple pounds in 6 months. So what? Isn’t it your place to figure out why? The only other thing she had to say is that I need blood drawn in July. Wtf? A year?
At least she’s not like Rob’s former doctor, trying to push diet pills. I’ve done the research on side effects of diet pills and I know what isn’t safe. I would take them if they were safe. I would take any option that people think would work, if it was safe. But it’s not safe. Not in *my* eyes, at least.
Is it really work if you truly love your job? I think that I’m a rare exception to the norm when it comes to having a job. I have one of the best jobs in the world and it doesn’t really seem like work.
I don’t think that I’d want to change anything about my job, especially since I set my own schedules, work when I’m available. I get asked to do a lot of features, which still surprises me every time.
So much for the plans I had for our income tax refund. I think my car is plotting against me. I was hoping to be able to get a few things that I have been waiting to buy.
There goes my Nintendo Wii or iPod Touch. I’m sad and irritated.
Tonight, on the way home, the windshield wipers decided to take a dive again. I’m seriously NOT pleased. The damn thing was just fixed at the beginning of January.
[12:58] Name Removed: but as an american…i hate this country
[12:59] Me: So leave.
[12:59] Me: Canada is nice, they say.
[12:59] Name Removed: yeah you know what give me the money to move an i will
[13:00] Name Removed: which includes getting me a new job a place to live and the right to live in a country other than this one
[13:02] Name Removed: now beyound that …. i will continue to bitch about america if i want… cause im a legal resident born here i didn’t ask to be here so its my god given right to bitch…
[13:03] Me: And it’s my god given right to tell you to stfu and do something about it if you hate it so much.
I don’t get it, really. I don’t care for the government, don’t agree with the politic, but I wouldn’t really want to live anywhere else but here.
Ow. My neck, my back, my wrists, my ankles. All sound like rice krispies every day when I wake up. I hate it, especially since it’s highly likely that I can develop rheumatoid arthritis. Heck, I could already have it, or worse. My mother has fibroblasts, so it’s definitely that is on my mind a lot.
My shoulder hurts like mad this morning. I dunno why. I haven’t done anything for it to be sore. It just is. I wish I could get Connie to listen to me and stop telling me to lose weight. I know I need to lose weight, but guess what? I’ve not had all these problems all my life. Sure I’ve been overweight all my life, but I used to be able to walk all over town, go to the mall and walk for hours, walk the campus at Corning. Now? If I manage to get all the grocery shopping done without crying, I’m lucky.
One day, I’ll have health insurance and a doctor that cares… I hope.
I watch HGTv at night when I can’t sleep. I love to watch them when they do kitchen makeovers. They use beautiful glass tiles for back splashes. I would love to be able to do the same thing. But, I live in a mobile home and you can’t do that. The walls are too damn flimsy.
I want heated floor tiles for the bathroom and the kitchen. Omg can you imagine? Walk through the house and your feet be toasty warm all winter. I’d love to win the lottery, buy a house that needs some TCL and do everything that I’ve always imagined.
It’s January 25th. So what? It’s 2 days away from my birthday. By the time this posts, it’ll be the 26th. One day away. I told my husband that he really didn’t need to get me anything. We don’t have the money right now. I can get what I want when the taxes come in.
Saturday we went to see my sister, delivered her birthday gifts for her. Mom got her brand new cookware. She has never had new cookware and we decided to get it for her.
After I got home, I backed everything up and started the day long process of reformatting. It took me ALL day Sunday. 2 reformats. 100 Updates. It finally got finished this morning. It’s been behaving perfectly.
This has been a weird week. It’s been mostly dead for me. Nothing work related. I don’t mind the week being slow, since next week is my birthday, then the first week of February starts 2 weeks of busy.
I should look into an auto insurance quote so that we can consider getting a new car. I can’t do anything until income taxes roll around.
We’ve got so much going on. I need to figure out whether I’m taking on the project I want to take on. I was hoping to be able to get ahold of the person(s) in charge, before-hand and see what the time commitment would be. If it’s a regular meeting thing or just ‘hey we need to do this on this date’ kind of thing.
I’d hope for both, frankly. The former is more conducive to being able to say “okay, I need you on day XYZ.” We’ll see, I guess. I have a couple weeks yet to decide.
Tomorrow is pay day, Saturday is my sister’s birthday. Mine is Wednesday. Whee? Meh.
Happy Valentine’s Day, readers. Personally, I dislike this day. I don’t see the need for a day to show someone how we feel about them, we should be doing it throughout the year. You never know just how much time you have with someone, so tell your loved ones how you feel.
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